he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
