do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
