So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
