I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
