I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
