I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
