Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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