when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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