quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
