Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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