Soap is not a condiment
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
