chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Randomize
