I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
