Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
