I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Damn victory sex feels great
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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