My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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