I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
