you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize