apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
