He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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