I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
