Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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