how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
