Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Blood and glitter go together right?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
