Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize