It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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