You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
