After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Too much gin, very little bucket
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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