If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
