My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
