i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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