Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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