Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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