Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
