i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize