i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
