Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I think people are normalizing furries
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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