using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
