So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
third nipple confirmed
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
