Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
