we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
time to smoke my breakfast
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
