Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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