but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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