ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
