omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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