She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
