Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
