yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
he was CRYING into my vagina
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
