I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
