Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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