Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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