I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
