Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
