just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
