Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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