I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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