yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
ok first of all what the fuck
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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