PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
