i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I can't turn off my feet"
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
