And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
