therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
