im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
