You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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