just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
