I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
