he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
you never un-have a 4some
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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