? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
