The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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