You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
