yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
