there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
