we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
