Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
it's like heaven, but drunker
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
