Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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